Dear Reader,
Today,unlike what l did to my former interviewees, l’ll not want to introduce our guest interviewee because she’s a great woman and l’ve given her he liberty to do the introduction herself. l feel you’ll find her as interesting as l did .Please let me know your feeling about this interview
Happy reading.
Sikaz: Could you tell us your name and location?
Dr Gayle:I am Dr Gayle Peterson, founder of www.makinghealthyfamilies.com .I am a family
therapist and specialize in pregnancy, childbirth and parenting. I am also the creator of The Peterson Method of Prenatal Counseling and Birth Hypnosis and direct the training programs-
Facebook | Prenatal and Birth Hypnosis Training and Certification. I have offices in Berkeley and
Nevada City , California. I am the mother of two adult children and my husband and I are grandparents to 3 lively boys and one sparkly granddaughter!
Sikaz: Thank you doctor for the beautiful introduction,so
comprehensive.Now,what is your opinion about parenting; is it worth it?


Dr Gayle:Parenthood represents a rite of passage that inevitably requires growth and development of the parent along with the child. There are other ways to learn, but becoming a parent, and being responsible for the well-being and development of a child is definitely one of the best crucibles for maturation. Don’t do it, unless you are serious about growing yourself!
Sikaz:  Waoh! But l don’t think everybody realizes this.Well,what is your opinion about breastfeeding?


Dr.Gayle: The most natural, healthy food for a newborn, which also assists in bonding between mother and child.
Sikaz: What are the challenges of working and breastfeeding your baby?
Dr.Gayle: Many of my clients do balance work and family. It is one of the tasks of this generation in becoming a family. Prioritizing, having support in parenting, addressing gender role issues between partners and streamlining everyday tasks is crucial to establishing a healthy balance. See my book, Making Healthy Families , chapter 4 on Love and Work, or visit my
website to read the article.
Sikaz:What are the things one should look out for while choosing a nanny?
Dr.Gayle: The ability to attach with some knowledge of child development is a start, but for a list of qualities to look for in a caretaker go to my article: Working moms: get rid of the guilt .
Sikaz: Would you describe your older child’s experience when the younger child was born?
Dr.Gayle: My child was 3 years old and very much into helping with the baby. I prepared her for a sibling, which I think helped. For more on sibling preparation, see my article, Preparing your child for a new baby
Sikaz: What is your personal opinion about teenage parenting?
Dr.Gayle:  In our culture, the firm, established transition to adulthood is by far the most important foundation to begin parenting. Becoming a parent as a teenager is fraught with difficulties based on the developmental needs of the teen being at odds with the developing needs of a newborn.
Sikaz: One of the things that get parents worried these days is the issue of drugs among teenagers.What do you think could be done to stop teenagers’ involvements in violence and hard drugs?
Dr.Gayle: Preventative help is the best! Talk to your preteen about drugs. See my article for tips and research on this subject: Talking to your preteen about drugs The key is secure attachment in families and community. Research shows that children who have even one person caring for them are less likely to get involved in drugs.
Sikaz: What are the causes of teenage disrespect and how could it be stopped?
Dr.Gayle: Family processes that promote respect over disrespect, connection over disconnection and have a balance of discipline and love are at the heart of prevention. See my articles and free online workshop for parents: How to help a disrespectful teenager who “doesn’t care” and Promoting Healthy Family Relationships , a family seminar.
Sikaz: What is your advice for those who are planning to be parents one day?
Dr,Gayle: Discuss with one another what kind of parenting you experienced and the kind of parent you want to be. For couples’ exercise on this subject see my free online seminar: What to Expect Before you are Expecting: Questions every parent should ask before having a baby
Sikaz: What is your opinion about books, seminar and workshop on parenting?


Dr.Gayle: Books, seminars and workshops that are experiential in nature and grounded in research on what makes healthy families is a great way to go!
Sikaz: Are parenting coaches relevant and helpful to parents?
Dr.Gayle: They may be helpful adjuncts, however parents should always be the leaders of their families. Coaches, like midwives, need good training in their subject area.  Coaches and family therapists that are well trained in child development and know the research on the characteristics of what makes healthy families can be helpful. See my book, Making Healthy Families for more on this subject.
Sikaz: Some parents seem to be neglecting their parenting activities for their career, what is your opinion on this and its effects on the society at large?


Dr.Gayle: Statistics show that more than half of families today do not have the luxury of NOT having two working parents. Research on children’s self-esteem shows that having mothers who balance work and career is not only possible, but can be in the best interests of all family members. It takes work and getting the right work and daycare situations. Our attention is best
focused upon continuing to obtain greater flexibility for parents in the workplace, and instituting family/work policies in our government that support families, rather than overly stress them. These policies* of support are already in place in many European countries. For more articles on this very important subject, go to: Work & Parenthood *for more on European support to families see: http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2005-07-26-maternity-leave_x.htm
Sikaz: Thank you so much Dr. Gayle.I appreciate the time you’ve spent on this interview.I hope when next l call on you l’ll be accorded the same reception.
Dr.Gayle: It’s my pleasure.It’s been wonderful.Thanks so much, you’re always welcome!

You’re welcome to this interview with one of the world best psycologists who has agreed to give an interesting interview.

Dr.Pickhardt is a psychologist in private counseling and lecturing practice in Austin, Texas. He received his B.A. and M.Ed. from Harvard, and his Ph.D, from the University of Texas at Austin. He is a member of the American and Texas Psychological Associations.

He has written columns for the Austin American Statesman (“Parenting the Teenager”), for the Austin Business Journal, Single Parent Magzine, Marriage and Family Living Magazine, Austin 360.com, and for Only Child Magazine (for which he is a contributing Editor.)

He is a well published author of parenting books, books of illustrated psychology, adult and children’s fiction, as well as being a graphic artist.He has published 25 books to date.

In 1988 he did weekly TV interviews about family life for Channel 24 (ABC, Austin). He has also been a guest on a Phil Donahue Show, Parentz 101 (FOX), Family Digest (Cable), and has done interviews for radio including Parents Journal and the Armin Brott Show.
Carl Pickhardt is married with 4 children and 1 grandchild.You can visit his website at:www.carlpickhardt.com

Could you tell us your name, location and age?

My name is Carl Pickhardt Ph.D. I am an author of parenting books and a psychologist in private
counseling and lecturing practice in Austin, Texas, USA. I am 71 years old with 4 grown children
and a grandson who is a sophomore in high school.

Sikaz:What is your opinion about parenting; is it worth it?

Dr.Carl:On its most basic level, parenting is how we propagate and prepare the next generation of our kind. If no one had children, no one would be a parent, and human kind would become extinct. But parenting is a choice, and it is not for everyone.Those adults who become parents and then do not find parenting “worth it” are usually those who do not want to invest the free time, shoulder the burden of responsibility, and accept the necessity for self sacrifice, that parenting entails. Parenting creates a host of rewards that begin with bonding and building a loving relationship with children who bond and love their relationship with you.

Sikaz:What is your opinion about breastfeeding?

Dr.Carl:Children are born connected to their mother and disconnected with their father who does not bear, birth, or breastfeed the child as the mother does. It is only by tending, talking, and touching that fathers start building a connection after the infant is born.In addition to the nutritional benefits, breastfeeding is a powerful way for mother and infant to connect, an act of deep and abiding physical and emotional intimacy.

Sikaz:What are the challenges of working and breastfeeding your baby?

Dr.Carl:The challenge of working and breast – feeding is the degree to which the job interrupts this nutritional/ relational connection and hence diminishes the contribution to maternal attachment that breast- feeding can create.Being held by another caring adult, however, and nursing from a bottle still has nutritional and attachment value. Jobs vary in the amount of flexibility they allow for mothers to breastfeed their child.

Sikaz:What are the things one should look out for while choosing a nanny?

Dr.Carl:A nanny is a surrogate parent for many young children, someone to whom the child socially and emotionally attaches. So parents need to be ready to accept the additional attachment they have created. It needs to be complimentary, not competitive, or parental jealousy can be aroused. Because all family systems are value systems, best to . pick a nanny whose approach to care taking and discipline are consistent with parental values.

Sikaz:Would you describe your older child’s experience when the younger child was born?

Dr.Carl:Oldest child is only child for a while, used to receiving all the love, attention, and resources parents have to give. A second child means the first child becomes dethroned by this new siblingcompetition.Now parents can feel regretful that they can never again give child number one the total attention they once did, and they can never give child number two the preoccupation they lavished on child number one.The challenge is for parents to help child number one (and themselves) understand that divided parental attention does not mean diminished love, and that there is still enough love to go around for everyone.

Sikaz:How would you describe your typical day as a parent?

Dr.Carl:The typical parental day is a divided one — focusing on one’s own personal and worldly demands, and maintaining sufficient focus on the welfare of one’s children. When you are single life is simple: you think about yourself. When you marry, life gets more complex: now you also think about your partner and your relationship. When you have children, life gets still more complex: you have to manage self as person, self as partner, and now self as parent, and the social unit that is a family. With this complexity, pressure of responsibility and care taking is drastically increased.

Sikaz:What is your personal opinion about teenage parenting?

Dr.Carl:To become a teenage parent creates a role change, from child to parent of a child, that alters one’s life in an older direction at an early age. This change matures a young person compared to peers who continue to enjoy social freedoms that teen parenthood to some degree now limits or denies. To become a teenage parent grows you up with maturity and weighs you down with responsibility.

Sikaz:What do you think could be done to stop teenagers’ involvements in violence and hard drugs?

Dr.Carl:Drug use and violence can provide adolescents with an outlet for illicit freedom at a rebellious age when independence from traditional childhood restraints has become all important. Under the influence of substances or intense emotional arousal (or peer influence), the young person feels free to do the forbidden.The antidote to rebellion is challenge. Young people who have healthy interests and opportunities through which they can challenge themselves to grow stronger and more responsible in self-affirming ways are less susceptible to the temptations of drug use and group violence.

Sikaz:What are the causes of teenage disrespect and how could it be stopped?

Dr.Carl:Parents who are willing to take clear, calm, and committed stands for their teenager’s best interests, and are willing to talk about those stands, listen to the young person’s opinions, and credit his or her self-interest, are most likely to be respected by their adolescent. Coercive parents who shut all communication down for the sake of control, may gain compliance, but not respect because respect cannot be commanded. It must be earned by treating the adolescent with respect.

Sikaz:What is your advice for those who are planning to be parents one day?

Dr.Carl:If you are planning to be a parent, make sure you want the responsibility and are ready for the self-sacrifice. And if you have a spouse, be prepared for more pressure on the marriage. Finally, understand that parenting is one of the most challenging and rewarding life experiences there is.

Sikaz:What is your opinion about books, seminar and workshop on parenting?

Dr.Carl:Informed, thoughtful parenting beats ignorant, impulsive parenting. The more understanding parents have of themselves, of parenting, of child development (particularly during the adolescent years) the more adequate their decisions are likely to be.We live in an age of self-help books, seminars, groups, and workshops all of which can be both informative and supportive. Use them. Don’t go it alone.

Sikaz:Are parenting coaches relevant and helpful to parents?

Dr.Carl:Coaching is supportive, motivational, and strategic. In addition, parenting coaches need to know about the psychology of parenting, of child development, and particularly about the hard half of parenting, adolescence, that begins between ages 9 – 13, and doesn’t wind down until the early to mid twenties. Good parent coaches also need to be psychologically knowledgeable. When they are, they can be of significant help.

Sikaz:Some parents seem to be neglecting their parenting activities for their career, what is your opinion on this and its effects on the society at large?

Dr.Carl:As I describe in my book about adolescence, “The Connected Father,” it is particularly easy for fathers to ambitiously pursue career advancement at the expense of parenting involvement in the family, particularly during the more abrasive adolescent years. This can be a sad loss for everyone at home.However, times are changing. More fathers now want to be more involved in child raising and are investing more time and energy in family.For mothers, the career/at home conflict can be be painful because they still tend to be the more connected and committed parent.

Sikaz:Thank you doc,it’s been interesting interviewing you.

You can visit Dr.Carl Pickhardt at www.carlpickhardt.com

Being a parent is one of the most exciting thing
anyone can ever think about becoming.

Do you wonder why this should be so?

Well, being a parent entails a lot most especially
being in charge of another human being makes you feel
a sense of responsibility indeed.

You will always have the indescribable feeling that
those who are not parent can never feel. You are
attached to that baby all of the time even when you
think you are right there at your work place.

Everything abut your life revolve round the children,
if you are the type that is really interested in
what your children grow up to be in life, you can never
have enough time for yourself or the children.

So, how do you cope with being a parent then?

The following are ways to cope as a new parent who is
truly interested in making a success of being a parent
at the end of the day:

1. Read Books on Parenting: This is a fact that most
parents have neglected because they don’t seem to realize
the need for them. What l want you to know here is that
most of the books on parenting are well-researched and
are probably written by parenting coaches, parenting
experts, parents who have had practical parenting
experiences for many years.You’ll be tapping into the
results of many years of experiences as researchers or
as real parents who had passed through the process you
are about to go through as a new parent.

2. Seek Help from Experienced Parents: If you want to
succeed in parenting will urge you to seek the help of
experienced parents who could be your neighbours, work-
mates, friends church members, or relations. The people
have garnered a lot of practical experiences that you
can just get for free without feeling bad consulting them.

3. Be Ready To Spend Money: Being a parent would require
that you will be spending a lot of money taking charge
of the growth and well-being of your baby right from the
very day of conception in pregnancy. You should be ready
to go through that without hesitation because it isyour
responsibility which can’t be passed to another person.

4. Establish a Close Relationship with Your Partner: You
may not have thought about this as something you should be
worrying yourself with. However, it is an important aspect
of parenting you must think about.Your relationship with
the mother or father of your baby is very important in the
development of the child and its well-being. It’s been
proved that a home where the two parents are at peace with
each other will guarantee a balanced growth for the baby.

5. Get Additional Source of Revenue: You need to get some
other sources of revenue to be able to successfully cope
with being a parent in today’s world because there so many
things you need to spend your money on to get your child
where you desire that they should be.

Basically, these are five of the ways by which you can cope
with being a parent. You can see that they are practicable
and easy to do for those who truly desire to get their
parenting on the way to success.

Enjoy your parenting efforts.

Sikaz

As a mother you may be expending a lot of energy on your
kids to the extent that you don’t seem to be having enough
time for your husband.

Have you taken your time to study the situation around you
in recent time?

Is your husband satisfied with you even as you don’t seem
to be having enough time for him unlike you were doing before
the arrival of the kids?

Check your marital life occasionally to seem that nothing you are
doing to the kids is affecting your relationship with your husband.

I have experienced a situation that a father began to be jealous of
his own kids simply because their mother concentrated more of her
time to the nursing of the kids than the time she had for him.

I must warn you that you need to balance your time between the your
husband and your kids. If you can’t do this simple time management
then you better prepare yourself for the inevitable consequences at
the end of the day.

Your marriage should not suffer because your time is devoted much
more to your kid.

You must remember that your man was always there with you before
the coming of your kids and he would always be there with you when
the kids have grown and are ready to leave home to establish their
own families elsewhere.

Your future with your husband is only guaranteed now if you maintain
a loving relationship with him as you do with your kids.

The truth is that you can maintain that balance, if you really want to.
But not everybody can do so.

Give this a deep thought and see if you could work it out pretty good.

Enjoy your parenting efforts.
Sikaz.

Most kids prefer to eat sweets and biscuits anytime they have to put something in the mouth and this usually causesa ‘battle ‘between them and their parents.

As a parent you should try to understand the underlining factors that your kid  reject fruits which are certain to give the kid more nutritional value than the biscuits or sweets they prefer to eat instead.

Kids that eat sweets and biscuits are already hooked on the sweetness of the products and care less about  the so-called nutritional values that you bother yourself about.

Here are five ways to help your kid eat the fruits instead of the  sweets and biscuits that may later have negative consequences
health- wise:

1.Set a good example .You have to fall in love with fruits yourself to be able to convince your kid to stick to fruits and forget about sweets and biscuits that they seem to be in love with already.

2.Allow Your Kid to choose the exact fruits he want to eat instead of forcing the ones you like on him simply because of what you’ve read about such fruits in a magazine , heard on radio or watched on television.

3. Pack your freezer and refrigerator full of fruits so that it will be easy for the kid to get one to eat whenever he is feeling like taking a snack.

4. Don’t keep sweets or biscuits at home as you used to and warn everybody that will come in contact with your kid to desist from offering the kid any sweets or biscuits.They should give the kid fruits instead.

5. Be artistic and humorous as well. Dress your melon, carrots or plantain with faces that are funny. This will certainly attract the kid and he will want to play with the fruit before eating it.

There you are .Do the above and send a reply to me soonest.

Enjoy your parenting efforts.

Sikaz