Parenting a preteen child is an enormous work to do, but you don’t
need to shy away from it if you want your effort of becoming a successful
parent to be commended.

Part of the many challenges you are going to face as a parent of a preteen
child is the one relating to drugs.

Drug use has come to stay and most preteen are now fully involved in it.
If you don’t want your own preteen to be involved, then you need to take
some cogent steps right away.

The following are the routes to encouraging your preteen child to avoid drugs
starts:

1. You have to start your effort with straightforward discussion about drugs.
Spend time with your preteen child and explain the danger drugs pose especially
in his or her growing body.

2. You must emphasize in your discussion the immediate effects of alcohol,
tobacco (through cigarette smoking) and drugs on different parts of
the body. For instance tell your preteen that tobacco makes one feel lightheaded
while alcohol weakens one’s coordination.

3. Long-term consequences of drug use which include drug addiction should be
pointed out to your preteen child.

4. Let your preteen know that alcohol or drugs does not hurt the user allow;
it also affects  members of their family and friends.

5. Teach your preteen how to respond to a friend’s offer of drugs or alcohol
and the kind of excuse he or she could give in order to turn down the offer.

6. Give your preteen the chance to bring his or her friends home without any
interference from you that way you will get to know the parents of your child’s
friends and the friend’s interests.

7. Finally, it is imperative that you should not try to do this all alone. You should
work with other parents in order to reinforce one another’s efforts to keep
your children drug free.

Enjoy your parenting efforts.

Sikaz.

Frank Field a Labour Party MP has written a report to the British Prime Minister,

David Cameron in which he proposed that schools should also offer a qualification

“at GCSE level” in taking care of children.

Frank Field was a former Welfare Minister under the Labour Party in Britain.

His report indicated that parenting courses should be made compulsory for

new parents.

He added that Children’s centres and home visitors need to begin to encourage

parents to attend parenting classes.

Parenting and associated skills should be taught right from the primary school

level and this will be extended to the secondary school where it will be offered for

qualification at the GCSE level.

Parenting is more important to the child’s life chances than income or schooling,

said Frank Field.

Personally, l want to give my vote to new parents going to parenting classes

so that they will have knowledge of what it is to bring a new life or another

human being into the world. The way it is now l have my doubts that most of

today’s parents don’t seem to be ready for their parenting responsibilities. Or,

perhaps they are overwhelmed by the tasks of being parents.

Attending classes where parenting courses will be taught is very good. When a

child in primary school understands what parenting entails he or she will have to

think twice about sexual matters and their consequences especially when they are

not ready for such responsibilities at their young age.

New mother and fathers should have parenting classes. This is going to benefit the larger

society in the end. The critics of a programme like this may want to frown at the level at

which such courses will be introduced, that is, the primary school level. I will advise that

they should have a rethink because these days so many secondary or high school students

are getting pregnant without really preparing for it.

Adequate knowledge of parenting through parenting courses will give them better

understanding of the pros and the cons of becoming parents at their age.

Enjoy your parenting efforts.

Sikaz.

Susan M. Heim is an author, editor and blogger, specializing in parenting, multiples, Christian and women’s issues. She is a longtime editor for the bestselling Chicken Soup for the Soul series. Susan’s books include “It’s Twins! Parent-to-Parent Advice from Infancy Through Adolescence”; “Boosting Your Baby’s Brain Power”; “Oh, Baby! 7 Ways a Baby Will Change Your Life the First Year”; “Twice the Love: Stories of Inspiration for Families with Twins, Multiples and Singletons”; and numerous Chicken Soup for the Soul books. On her blog, Susan Heim on Parenting, Susan shares her personal and professional thoughts and experiences on raising children in today’s world

Sikaz: Could you tell us your name, location and age?

Susan Heim: My name is Susan Heim, and I live in Florida (USA). I’m in my forties!

Sikaz: What is your opinion about parenting; is it worth it?

Susan Heim:It’s definitely worth it, but I don’t think parenting is for everybody. It’s a lifetime commitment that should be pondered carefully before embarking on the parenting journey. But for those of us who always wanted to be parents, the challenges are definitely worth the rewards that come with having children.

Sikaz: What is your opinion about breastfeeding?

Susan Heim: Women should attempt breastfeeding whenever possible because it is the best food for our babies. However, if breastfeeding isn’t possible, most babies thrive on formula, too.

Sikaz: What are the challenges of working and breastfeeding your baby?

Susan Heim: Working outside the home can definitely make breastfeeding more challenging, but it can be done! Be sure to speak with the administration about the time you’ll need to pump milk, the need for refrigeration, and a private place for expressing your milk. Hopefully, your employer will understand your needs.

Sikaz:   What are the things one should look out for while choosing a nanny?

Susan Heim: Good references are a must. Watch how a potential nanny interacts with your children. Is she engaged and active with your kids? Talk with her about parenting philosophies to be sure that you share the same ideas about discipline, etc.

Sikaz: How would you describe your older child’s experience when the younger child was born?

Susan Heim: My two older children were a little shocked at the ages of 11 and 14 to hear that they were going to have two new little brothers (twins). But, fortunately, they were old enough not to need me as much anymore on a practical level (feeding and dressing them, etc.), so it was easier for them to adjust to new siblings than it might have been for younger children.

Sikaz: How would you describe your typical day as a parent?

Susan Heim: Busy! I work from home as a writer, but it’s still a constant juggle between my commitments to work and to my family. On a typical day, I drop my boys off at school in the morning, work at my computer until early afternoon when I leave pick up the kids, and then I spend my time with them until I return to work when they go to bed.

Sikaz:   What is your personal opinion about teenage parenting?

Susan Heim: Teenagers can be a challenge to parent, but they can also be a lot of fun. My advice to parents is not to take teens’ reactions too personally. This is a time when their friends are much cooler than you are! It’s natural for them to pull away from you at this time and want to be with their peers. Of course, if you’re dealing with more serious issues with teens like drinking or drug use, you’ll need to consult some professional assistance.

Sikaz:  What do you think could be done to stop teenagers’ involvements in violence and hard drugs?

Susan Heim: Keep them busy! A lot of trouble results when teens are bored, and they start experimenting with ways to entertain themselves. Get them involved in community service projects, sports, and other activities that occupy their minds and bodies.

Sikaz: What are the causes of teenage disrespect and how could it be stopped?

Susan Heim: Setting an example of respectful behavior for our kids is always a good idea. People who speak disrespectfully to their children will usually get the same lack of respect in return. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be firm with our children. We should. But there should be no name-calling, screaming, power struggles, etc. However, even the best of parents will experience disrespect from their teens from time to time. We should not be surprised as this is natural, but still insist on respect from our kids, just as we respect them.

Sikaz: What is your advice for those who are planning to be parents one day?

Susan Heim: Speak with your partner about your parenting philosophies before the children are born. If you want your partner to do certain things, like change diapers, you need to discuss your expectations early on, rather than experiencing resentment later when the children arrive. Talk with each other about how you’ll discipline, find time to be with each other, and more.

Sikaz: What is your opinion about books, seminars and workshops on parenting?

Susan Heim: They’re terrific in combination with advice from friends and family, as well as your own instincts. Different sources will suggest different techniques. Often there is no “right” way to parent, only what’s right for your particular family. So, do plenty of reading, but then tailor various techniques to your family’s needs.

Sikaz: Are parenting coaches relevant and helpful to parents?

Susan Heim: Coaches can be helpful, especially if you have an especially difficult child. Often, a coach can see things more objectively, rather than emotionally, and be able to offer suggestions for handling difficult situations. Of course, it’s important to find a coach who has experience in the type of problems that you are facing.

Sikaz: Some parents seem to be neglecting their parenting activities for their career. What is your opinion on this and its effects on the society at large?

Susan Heim: Unfortunately, some parents don’t have a choice about having a career. They must earn money to support their family. But most children do fine with a loving caretaker. A parent doesn’t have to be physically present every hour of the day to make his or her children feel loved. If they spend the time they do have with their kids in an engaged and meaningful way, then children with working parents can thrive just as well as those with a stay-at-home parent.

Sikaz: Thank you Susan.We’ve enjoyed your thoughtful insight into parenting .Dear reader to read more about Susan Heim, you should please visit her blog at  http://susanheim.blogspot.com/

You are welcome to another unique interview with a popular parenting expert, Susan Stiffelman.

Susan is “a unique blend of licensed therapist, credentialed teacher, beloved auntie and down to earth mom. Her book, Parenting Without Power Struggles is based on her work with thousands of parents and children, from celebrities to everyday moms and pops”.

I hope you will find the interview interesting , educative and worthy of your time because it’s filled with many helpful information.

Sikaz: Could you tell us your name, location and age?

Susan : My name is Susan Stiffelman, and I live in California, in the United States.

Sikaz: What is your opinion about parenting; is it worth it?

Susan: Of course parenting is worth it! Children depend on their parents or grandparents–or whatever adult is looking after them–to guide them and take care of them.

Sikaz: What is your opinion about breastfeeding?

Susan: Generally it is very good for babies to be breastfed. It also helps promote a special bond between mother and baby, helping deepen their connection and bring emotional security to the baby

Sikaz:   What are the challenges of working and breastfeeding your baby?

Susan: If a mother is gone for many hours a day, she will have to pump her milk so she doesn’t become uncomfortable, and also to provide milk for the baby in her absence.

Sikaz: What are the things one should look out for while choosing a nanny

Susan: You should make sure the nanny has good references from people you speak with personally who will attest to her good qualities, honesty, sense of responsibility, and experience with young children. Nannies need to love children–which may seem obvious but isn’t always the case. They should be patient, creative and aware of ways to handle children without becoming reactive or hurtful.

Sikaz: Would you describe your older child’s experience when the younger child was born?

Susan: I think he had a very pleasant childhood, with a lot of love and care, and many friends.

Sikaz:  How would you describe your typical day as a parent?

Susan:It is different now that my son is attending University. When he was younger, he was taught at home for the first six years of grammar school. He read many books, and we tried to do interesting activities with science, art and writing, in addition to the regular curriculum. He then went to school after grade 6, except when he was fifteen and we spent some time in Africa!

Sikaz: What is your personal opinion about teenage parenting?

Susan: I think teenagers are often too young to be parents; it’s important to wait until you are ready to take on the responsibilities of caring for a child. Teens who do not practice safe sex put themselves at risk for becoming parents before they truly want to take on the job, which is very demanding.

Sikaz: What do you think could be done to stop teenagers’ involvements in violence and hard drugs?

Susan: The more connected teens feel to their family and loved ones, the less likely they will be to turn to drugs and other negative activities. Many parents give up on their teens because they believe it’s too late, but it isn’t.

Sikaz: What are the causes of teenage disrespect and how could it be stopped?

Susan: Teens often test the limits of the adults who are looking after them. If we become reactive or angry, then we are telling them that they are more powerful, and in a way we bring on that disrespect. Instead, adults need to hold a place of calm and strength when their teens act disrespectful, letting the youngster know that it’s not okay to speak that way, but also telling them that if they (the teen) are upset, you (the adult) are willing to listen.

Sikaz: What is your advice for those who are planning to be parents one day?

Susan: Learn as much as you can about children and parenting before you suddenly find yourself with a baby! Be prepared! And be willing to be what I call the Captain of the Ship, in charge as the solid, reliable person in the child’s life. You may not be able to be the child’s friend, but what they most need from you is to be their safe guide.

Sikaz: What is your opinion about books, seminar and workshop on parenting?

Susan: It depends on the information in the books and seminars! If it’s good information, I think it’s very helpful to parents to learn from people who have worked with many children and parents professionally. But in the end, it’s also important that parents listen to and trust their own instincts.

Sikaz: Are parenting coaches relevant and helpful to parents?

Susan: Absolutely, if they’re any good!

Sikaz: Some parents seem to be neglecting their parenting activities for their career, what is your opinion on this and its effects on the society at large?

Susan: It’s very difficult for parents to juggle work and family. One thing that is important is that parents do not feel guilty, because none of us can ever do everything we need to in a single day. Do your best, and make it a priority to connect at least 15 or 20 minutes a day with your child, giving them your undivided attention and letting them know how interested you are in them and how much you enjoy their company. Show your love by giving whatever time you can, as often as possible. You may feel that it’s not enough, given the demands of your career, but just do your best and make sure your children know how precious they are to you by your actions and

behavior.

Sikaz: l want to thank you Susan for this interview. Dear reader you can visit Susan Stiffelman at her website www.passionateparenting.net

Children are of varied types and it is only when you have the
knowledge of who your children are that you will know how to
correctly handle them.

As a parent who is blessed with many children, you would have
already observe that your children are not in any way similar in
their reaction to issues. Generally they may look alike due to the
genes that produced them.

That is the end of the similarity among them. Obviously they are
different character-wise ,therefore, they don’t require equal ways
of treating them. You should know how to identify who your children
are and be able to handle them accordingly in order to get the best
out of them.

The following are the different types of children that we have:

1. Tactile child: This type of child is prone to being are easily
perturbed by physical things. The parent should try to encourage the
child referring to how well they physically do things. There are times
when the child wil throw things like toys all about, don’t chastise the
child just pick the toys and ,better still, buy unbreakable toys instead.
The child could also get boisterous; learn to control without physically
applying punishment for this behaviour.

2.Auditory child: A child with this character trait has the disposition
to whine, scream and stump around angrily. I know that, like every other
parents, you may not like your child to be like this because it can easily get
on your nerves, more so when it is exhibited in a public place. You should try
to create a strategy to know what the problem is a find the right solution. If
you try to study the child, you’ll probably know those things that trigger this
behaviour.

3. Visual child: This one child that will usually turn to see the reaction of the
parent whenever he is trying to go beyond the limits. The truth is that a child
that does this is just trying to seek attention. He is trying to know if someone
is noticing what he is about to do. You can easily preempt the action of this
type of child at any given time. Show the child signs that you suspect that he
wants to do an unacceptable thing. This will serve as a caution.

4. Taste and Smell child: A child with this trait is not inclined to be naughty,
but they can be excessively sensitive. So, you have to watch it. They respond
to praises and highly sensitive to condemnations. The child will probably want
to keep to herself even when you are in a crowded place because she doesn’t
want to be noticed. She is probably an introvert.

Anytime you go to a party you should help the child to relieve her anxiety
before she burst into tears and run away to hide herself where she feels that
people will not see her.

Now, you know what the character trait of every child is, try to show true
Understanding ant time your children show their true selves, and avoid hurting
them.

Enjoy your parenting efforts.

Sikaz.

Three cases of female babies growing breasts have already been reported.It was detected that the growth of the babies’ breasts is linked to the baby fomula they were given by their parents.

Reports said that the formula was produced by Synutra.As usual the company is claiming that its own formula is very safe for babies’ consumption.

Now the Chinese public is already in a panic situation because  of this unusual news.

The babies that are developing breasts are between the ages of 4 and 15 months. It was said that the development of the breasts in the babies is simply as a result of an increase in the estrogen levels which is as high as the one in a female
adult.

Just as would be expected the company that produce the baby formula, Syntura denied making a product taht would be harmful to their potential consumers.

The company was reported to be standing firm that their formula can never be the original cause of the babies breasts.They are now claiming that the cause of the babies breasts could be the cows they used to obtain the milk for the baby formula.

The expers are saying that China is yet to draw up a regulation that forbids the use of hormones in the cultivation of livestock.

What this implies is that nobody could even say that every company in China is going by this international dairy regulation.

I want to conclude here by saying that until human beings learn to go by the natural order of things whereby mothers fully concentrat the feeding of their babies on the  human breasts we may continue to read and hear strange things like the Chinese babies growing breasts.

Sikaz

Mr. Field is already nursing the fears that many children’s lives are
doomed because they now depend on state given benefits all as a result
of their parents’ inability to cater for them.

Making all young children in schools to learn how to raise a family
long before they become fathers and mothers themselves would make them
have the required knowledge of parenthood.

The News of The World newspaper reported Mr.Field as saying in the
report he sent to the British Prime Minister that a formal exam for
16-year-olds would help turn today’s youth into “five-star parents”
of the future.

l love Mr, Field’s observation when he was quoted to have said among
other things that”Our nation has fallen out of love with the art of
being good parents and we have to get back to that. There’s a large
group of families, about 800,000, who run chaotic lives. They’re the
neighbours from hell. We still haven’t really taken the gloves off
with them.”

Mr. Field’s conclusion is the most interesting part of the story.He said
“There’s a genuine desire among young people to learn how to be good
parents,”

Mr. Field’s presentation is good enough and l believe those who are
truly interested in the future of our societies- not just Britain now-
should love this plan.

There is a need to add parenting to the school curriculum in all nations in
order to stem the seemingly uncontrollable teenage parenting which is
economically embarrassing to the societies all over the world.

Having deep knowledge of what parenting is ,I’m sure , will make every
teenager think twice before going into it.

Sikaz

Dear readers here we are again with another unique interview with Dr.J.L.Murphy of http://fionnchu.blogspot.com and http://notthelatimesbookreview.blogspot.com/ .You will agree with me that Dr.Murphy is not like the interviewees that we’ve had on this site before now, But l felt it was very important to hear from other people who are not your main-stream parenting experts.

Sikaz:  Could you tell us your name, location and age?

Dr.Murphy: John M. Los Angeles. 49 years old.

Sikaz: What is your opinion about parenting; is it worth it?

Dr.Murphy: Mixed bag. The fact we never get to actually choose to be biological parents, if fathers, and it’s always a reaction to our partner’s pregnancy does make it always for any father a “delayed response.” The joys are often enumerated, but the uncertainty of how one performs one’s role as a father, the expense, the worry, the uncertainty, the heartache may be factors less articulated by most fathers, I suspect.

Sikaz: What is your opinion about breastfeeding?

Dr.Murphy: No problems with it.

Sikaz: What are the things one should look out for while choosing a nanny?

Dr.Murphy: Flexibility in responses, firmness with humor, intelligence with empathy, watchfulness with encouraging the child to develop his or her own responses to situations as well as being directed by the nanny.

Sikaz: Would you describe your older child’s experience when the younger child was born?

Dr.Murphy: Three years apart, so hard for me to recall much as the older son was so little. Basically, the older one felt left out, and not the center of attention.

Sikaz: How would you describe your typical day as a parent?

Dr.Murphy: As that of teenaged sons, negotiating what they want vs. our needs as parents, discussing issues at school and personal life, driving them to/from friends or school, and feeding them and giving them money, it seems!

Sikaz:What is your personal opinion about teenage parenting?

Dr.Murphy: To be discouraged at all times.

Sikaz: What do you think could be done to stop teenagers’ involvements in violence and hard drugs?

Dr.Murphy: Showing them peers or older people who have wound up regretting their violent or drug-fueled behaviors; linking people they know to these as bad examples, and discussing media images and coverage of situations with violence and drugs to take the glamour out of the sensationalized coverage that often is the norm in the media.

Sikaz: What are the causes of teenage disrespect and how could it be stopped?

Dr.Murphy: This seems to be a tough issue as my sons mirror so much disrespect from their peers and from the media. I think this is a contributing and amplifying factor to a generational gap where children now tend to talk back much more without fear of physical retaliation by parents (unlike my generation and/or class and cultural background) so they push the limits more with their parents, who tend not to retaliate as much. The moral and cultural standards here have loosened in the past forty-odd years, so the parents and children in their desire to bond more intimately have also perpetuated a casual, and often too easily transgressed, model of stepping over into inappropriate language.

Sikaz: What is your advice for those who are planning to be parents one day?

Dr.Murphy: Not to rush into it. Nobody actually decides the moment of conception, so any pregnancy and parenting as I mentioned earlier seems after the fact in a way, but unless one adopts children, the reaction to parenting is always a delayed one. This means planning may or may not work for the real moment of parenting-to-be, so to speak. Thus, the contexts and financial and emotional readiness need all the more to be prepared for before the confirmation of a pregnancy and decision to give birth happen. Once that happens, it’s preparing for a situation already in progress.

Sikaz:What is your opinion about books, seminar and workshop on parenting?

Dr.Murphy: Probably fine, but talking to parents first hand that one admires may be as effective.

Sikaz: Are parenting coaches relevant and helpful to parents?

Dr.Murphy: I don’t know any coaches, so I cannot speak as to their effectiveness. It may be similar to a psychiatrist or doctor, in getting professional advice, and the distance that a relative or family member may not have may be beneficial for parents, but I cannot speak from experience.

Sikaz: Some parents seem to be neglecting their parenting activities for their career, what is your opinion on this and its effects on the society at large?

Dr.Murphy: This is crucial, and I admit in my own profession with changing hours and demands online as well as onsite at a considerable distance from home, this has been detrimental. The sheer costs of living in an expensive city in uncertain economic times in a profession where jobs are hard to find and keep means that I did have to neglect a large chunk of parenting activities for the necessity of establishing my credentials by education and then finding and keeping my job. I think the effects can be seen in the amount of single parents, abandoned smothers and children, harried families, long commutes, declining literacy, and detached intimacy between children and parents.

Sikaz: Thanks Dr.Murphy.This has been insightful and l really enjoyed interviewing you.I hope you won’t mind answering my questions anytime l find it necessary to come again?

Dr.Murphy: It’s been very interesting answering these set of questions. Thanks for the opportunity. I hope your readers find the responses useful enough. You’re always welcome.

Dr.Gayle: It’s my pleasure.It’s been wonderful.Thanks so much, you’re always welcome!