Life is full odf separations between a mother and her child.How we cope with it defer from person to person.

From the very time the umbilical cord is cut,a baby begins the journey o the many separations of life.

However, there are many ways by which you and your toddler could learn to cope with separation much better.

The following tips to deal with separation anxiety could help you and your toddler:

*Make your child feel secure :

Anytime you are around your child,make him feel secured by giving  him  plenty of love and attention.Neverthelesss,you should not leave him more often than you must.Always be sensitive to his needs and feelings.

*Take the separation anxiety seriuosly:

You must take the separation anxiety seriously by not teasing ,but insteience as well as confidence.

*Be Calm:

You shopuld be calm,though sympathetic to your tofddlr’s feeeling.You must not show that you are moved by your child’s pleas for you to stay with him.

*Tell him you love him:

You have to sing it into your child’s ears that you love him.Never make him feel guily by telling him that you will miss him.

*Practise Separation:

As a matter of choice,you must start practising separation on a short-term bases before you need to be separated from nim due to work.You can do this by disappearing behind a door or into another room.

* Keep him busy:

Learn to keep your child busy before you leave home.This approach will keep him from crying when you eventually leave.

*Leave him with a reminder of you:

You must leave your child with a reminder of you anytime you have to separate from him.Give him sopmething like your pillow,your picture in a frame, or a lipstick-print kiss on the back of his hand.

*Make your exit casual:

You have to make your exit in a casual,less dramatic way.Even where you are feeling guilty for leaving him, never let that show on your face or through your mood.Hide the feeling from him.

* Promise your child:

Make a promise to your child.Promise him a favourite activity when you return.This will make him happy and he will look forward to your return.

*Be ready in advance,don’t rush to leave home:

You should now learn to always get ready in advance and avoid frantic rush at the last minute.About ten or fifteen minutes before your departure,sit with your child and read a story,attempt a puzzle or build something with blocks.Just do those things he enjoys doing.

Doing the above will make you and your toddler cope with separation anxiety easily.

Enjoy your parenting efforts.

Sikaz

Parents of teenagers don’t usually seem to know what their
teenagers want from them and this ,more often than not,lead to some trouble in their relationships.

But there is a way out of this seeming problem between parents and their teenage children.

The following should be considered whenever you think about what your teenager could be secretly thinking that you give him.

1.Your teenager craves your support most times.They worry  themselves about somany things which include possible  rejection from their friends;friends’ crtiticism which is  usually very hurting; lack of self-esteem.Your support is   desired ata time like this in order for the teenager tofeel  very secured about himself.At that time when crises  occur, you have tom,make your teenager believe in you by   showing him that you care.

2. You have to learn tolisten toyour teenager allof the    time. If there is any one particular thing you as  a parent    of a teenager needs above all others ,it is the skill to listen. You must use your ears much more than you use  your mouth. Try to understand the situation from your  teenager’s point of view, that way you will be making alot   in building a solidrelationshipwith your teenager.

3.Gently disagree with your teenager.You may not necessarily agree on everything he has to door say.Your  viewpoint should be gently conveyed to him without much  hassle about it.You have to show your readiness to listen  to him and make him say what he thinks about the matter  at hand.

4.You shouldaccept your teenager’sright when it comes to decision making. Don’t give unsolicited advice, criticise, lecture or boss. The factis that if it is not an important decision that concerns matters of ultmost impotance,you should not bother yourself.

5. You must always let go.As a parent of a teenage child,you have to take some riskss at times, and part of such risks is that  your teenager will make a mistake once in a while. The fact of life is that most people must learn through their personal experiences which are regarded as the best  teacher. We all have to learn from the consequences of our decisions. Without this,itis not likely your teenager will become an independent adult.

These are the things your teenager wants from you as a parent.And they are not in any way too difficult for you to give him,are they?

Enjoy your parenting efforts.

Sikaz

The reason why you and your spouse are stuggling with parenting is not
far fetched.This is the main truth l want every parent to understand right away.

You are sttruggling with parenting simply because your childhoopd and thast of your spouse is different.You really need to realise this fact in order to stop the unnecessary struggling between you.

Your childhood is unique in terms of your parenting experiences.And this is what shape your owm parenting style.The same is applicable to your spouse too.

Your diffenrent parenting background is not the same, and this reflects in whatever decision you want to make in yiour own parenting style now that you are a parent-your perception of appropriate parenting.

However, your personal  perception of what is okay in terms of parenting style can be very different from that of your partner. This automatically leads to  conflict of interests which ,if left unresolved, can have a negative impact on your child.

Both of you must learn to resolve the conflict, work through your relationship and differing parenting styles to raise happy, responsible and successful children.

This could be done amicably,provided the two of you see what you are doing to care for your children as a joint venture in which no partner can claim to have a monopoly of knowledge than the other.

The truth is that we are all learning parenting every day under different circumstances.Each of the daily experience we encounter brings with it a unique experience different from the previous one.

Enjoy your parenting efforts.

Sikaz

A baby walker is used when a child has not developed a
steady ability to walk on his own,but he is already old enough
to sit securely.

It is a good tool in training a baby to walk.However, there is a
need to take the necessary precautions while using the baby
walker in order to prevent your baby from having an aviodable
injury.

The following preventive measures should be taken when
your baby is on a baby walker:

1. The baby walker should be used only on a smooth flat floor
without carpets,door threshold or any form of obstructing
object that may cause the baby walker to tip over while the
baby is using it.

2. There should always be somebody around to oversee how
the baby is using the baby walker in order to prevent an
unforseeable injury as quickly as it is about to occur.

3. Before putting your baby on his baby walker, try to close
your gate and stair guards securely.

4. Make sure your baby’s walker has at least six wheels and
a wheel which is wider and longer than the normal height of
the seat.

Prevention,they say, is better than cure.

You have to learn to prevent accidents from happening before they even happen at all.Here you are, make use of the suggested tips above and have
a happy parenting of your little one in the end

Enjoy your parenting efforts,

Sikaz.

The role of a mother in the sporting activities of her child could not be over-emphasized.
Most mothers are very close to the children and for this reason they are always the first to know about their activities and individual achievement in all spheres of life including sports.

Some mothers do not feel that their role in this regards are very vital just as they are in all other areas of the child’s growth.

When your child is into sports, you really have an important role to play especially where you have to spend to buy the kits and perhaps take the child to competitions where the father (for obvious reasons perhaps) is unable to do so.

As a mother you also need to advise your child against the need to take banned drugs and monitor the child very well in order to have a first hand feel or observation of any strangeness in their attitude as a result of the drugs they have started taking .

Mothers are needed whenever the child is competing for laurel in order to give the desired moral boost.At times a child could push him/her self harder than he might have is neither of the parents is around at the arena.Many titles have been won in the past by athletes who seem to be losing a particular event but who made a miraculous recovery simply because of their mothers’ words of encouragement at the tail end of the event.

Being a mother to a youth who is engaged in sporting activities does not mean that you have to take part in sport yourself.But you should, as a good and caring mother who desires nothing but success for your child, encourage such a child with everything you have physically, mentally and financially.

Enjoy your parenting efforts.

Sikaz

A baby walker is used when a child has not developed a
steady ability to walk on his own,but he is already old enough
to sit securely.

It is a good tool in training a baby to walk.However, there is a
need to take the necessary precautions while using the baby
walker in order to prevent your baby from having an aviodable
injury.

The following preventive measures should be taken when
your baby is on a baby walker:

1. The baby walker should be used only on a smooth flat floor
without carpets,door threshold or any form of obstructing
object that may cause the baby walker to tip over while the
baby is using it.

2. There should always be somebody around to oversee how
the baby is using the baby walker in order to prevent an
unforseeable injury as quickly as it is about to occur.

3. Before putting your baby on his baby walker, try to close
your gate and stair guards securely.

4. Make sure your baby’s walker has at least six wheels and
a wheel which is wider and longer than the normal height of
the seat.

Prevention,they say, is better than cure.

You have to learn to prevent accidents from happening before they even happen at all.Here you are, make use of the suggested tips above and have a happy parenting of your little one in the end

Enjoy your parenting efforts,

Sikaz.

Are you a busy dad?

Is your life anything like this:

Commuting to or from work, business travel,scheduled and
unscheduled meetings and attending to files even as you close
the door behind you in your master bedroom?

Most busy dads hardly have time for their children,they work
so hard that they tend to end up unmittingly denying their children
a valuable time which should have been positively used together as
a family.

Well, you don’t need to worry for too long because here you will be
learning how to make maximum impact as a busy dad in the life of
your children.

It is possible to raise the kids you want in the time you have.You
needn’t feel anyway guilty with yourself.

Simply follow these steps and see how much impact you would be making in the life of your kids as a very busy dad:
* Be involved  in your kids’ schooling – Try attend
the child’s”Back-to-School Night” and other activities once in a
while,or even everytime since such things don’t happen every day.

* Give your child a few minutes to play together,no matter how      short,everyday before leaving home for work.Your kid will
definitely appreciate the few minutes.

* Build relationships with your child’s teachers.Teache appreciate it
and communicate more with parents they have met physically.The    consequence is that your child won’t get away with anything because he will surely be reported.

* Plan a trip with your child.There are always some work-free days that would involve both you and your child.So, while not plan a short trip together?You will be glad you did as your child will forever thank you for it.

* Develop the habit of listening to your child anytime he talks to you.
I don’t mean that you should just pretend that you are paying attention while you are not.Deliberately pay serious attention and let your child be convince that you are.

These are just a few of the things you can do to make maximum impact as a busy dad in the life of your children.You need to be fully engaged in the development of your children regardless of how busy you think you are.

Take action right now and see how your parenting life will improve for the better.

Enjoy your parenting efforts,

Sikaz

Parents of teenagers do not always get it right when it comes to matters that concern communication with their teenagers.
Dealing with your teenagers requires some tricks of its own and you need to learn these tricks in order to succeed as a parent.
The tricks to communicating with teenagers are as simple as those you automatically learn when you want to deal with a fellow adult.
The best tricks are as follow:
1. Be Patient: You truly need to learn patience when dealing with your teenager. They are so full of energy and for this reason, they forget things easily. Patience is the only solution to attitudes like this.
2. Respect Your Teenager: There is no doubt about it. Respect begets respect. If you respect your teenager, he too will respect you and he will command his friends to do better still. Every rude attitude towards your teenager is an invitation to disrespect and total disobedience to your rules and commands.
3.Be Considerate: I don’t need to emphasize this much more than it is necessary. Your consideration of the condition that is forcing your teenager to behave the way he is behaving will make you see things from his perspective and show a deeper understanding of whatever he is going through at the moment.
You should try as much as possible talk with your teenagers openly about anything.
The result?
Total confidence in themselves and freedom to express themselves whenever they are troubled about any matter.
Open the door for your family members to regularly have dinner together. At such time make effort to ask specific questions to draw your children out in conversation.
Enjoy your parenting efforts.
Sikaz

In a  normal situation children usually show some preference to one of their parents to the hurt of the other parent.

There have been reports of parents that feel so angry about this situation that they come to the conclusion that the beloved parent has done some things to “poison” the mind o fht eir child against them.

The parents that are mostly affected are the new parents who have little or no understanding about parenting.

The truth is that the situation you have found yourself in is a normal situation and nobody has taught your dear child to be against you and feel as if you are about to kill him anytime you stretch your hand towards his direct in a  bid to carry him as every parent usualy does.

Here are six ways by which you can cope with a child who prefers one parent to the other:

1. Give the time child time and don’t take the matter personally.

2. Let the parent that is not ‘loved’ leave home for a few hours or even days. Surely,by the time the parent gets back, the child may have     decided that the “unloved” parent is not evil after all.

3. Giving the chance and with the knowledge of one who knows children very well,l can assure you that there is a likelihood that within the next year or so the child  will bounce in the opposite direction.That time the so-called “beloved” parent will be feeling neglected.

4.You should try to understand your child’s personality because children are not alike.If you have another child who does not behave the way the one you are concerned about does,do not try to compare the two.They are separate individuals that would never behave the same way.

5.You may decide to  follow the child around everywhere.In addition, constantly ask him questions.Do whatever he chooses to do at every given time. If he Is reads a book, read a book too. If he is jumps, jump.You should,however, prepare yourself for whatever he may want to do to reject you such as throwing insults at you, etc.Don’t mind. He will eventually wear himself down and both of you may end up being great friends.

6. Plan a Daddy/Mummy- Child outing on a weekend.If the two of them hang out, they may end up forging a strong relationship.

Coping with dislike is never going to be easy,but try any of the ways suggested above and see how effective they can be.

Enjoy your parenting efforts
Sikaz.

Parenting a toddler is no mean business yet some of us parents seem to be lacking in out duties to our toddlers.

Are you observant enough as a parent?

Do you really check your toddler’s behaviour well enough to be able to detect some anomalies in the toddler if there is?

Well, majority of parents fall in this category. Most parents assume that everything is just fine with their toddler even when a lot is wrong.

Autism is such a disorder in a toddler that is not easily noticeable except a parent chooses to be a close observer of his/her toddler.

As a disease, Autism affects the brain. It actually begins in early childhood and continues up until adulthood.

To detect this disease a parent would notice the following signs in the toddler:
*Self Withdrawal
The toddler with autism is always withdrawn from people. This, a parent should try to notice. The toddler’s ability to socialize is very weak indeed.
*No Eye Contact
Deliberately the toddler would ensure he does not establish any eye contact with people, not even his/her parents. The toddler would also avoid being cuddled by anybody.Parents, please check your toddler for this.
*No Talk or Play like Other Children
A toddler with autism would not talk or play the way other toddlers do. Parents of toddlers should remember that part of the crucial areas autism affects in a toddler include the communication area. Therefore, the toddler’s ability to talk is limited.
*Inter-personal Play Is Limited
Parents must note that an autistic toddler is limited in the development of interpersonal play and imagination. Their range of imaginative activities is limited in scope
*Resistance to Change
The toddler with autism would always be tight and resists changes in any noticeable routine he/she has been used to.
*Repetitive Conduct Pattern
The autistic toddler would experience repetitive conduct patterns. If your toddler has been doing a particular conduct repeatedly, you need to now pay special attention to him/her as that may be the clue you need to detect that he/she has autism.
*Improper Us of Language
Due to his/her brain problem, the autistic toddler would experience some language problem. The use of language would be unconventional.
*No Response to Voices
The autistic toddler finds it somehow hard to respond to voices or sounds. This is due to the problem with the communication area in the brain.
*Rocking Of the Head
The autistic toddler would rock his/her head back and forth. He /she would also spin and bang his/her head several times.
*No Make-believe Games
The toddler does not pretend or play make-believe games. He is concerned with routine and order instead.
*Monotonous Voice
The toddler would always use monotonous voice. There is no pretension to the use of variety of voices as you could find in other toddler as they engage in role-play activities.
*No Fear of Danger
Ordinarily every toddler is afraid of danger and they express their fear in wide-ranging ways. No so the autistic toddler! There is always the possibility that he/she would injure him/her self as he/she never fears danger in any form.

Having an autistic child as a parent is not anyway a small task as could be seen from above. The thing about it is that where there is early detection, there is always a way out of the many troubles that may arise as a result of ignorance on the part of the parent.

There are special schools for those who suffer from autism. What a parent with a toddler that suffers from this disease should do, on noticing it, is to visit the hospital for medical confirmation that what the toddler is suffering from is truly autism. And from there a lesson on how to specially take care of the toddler in a specific way would be given to the parent.

Mind you, this is not a contagious disease neither is it a physical disability. It is from the brain, and it is as a result of a genetic disorder.

Enjoy Your Parenting Efforts,
Sikaz.